Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain, and gathering them about him, he taught them, saying:

"Blessed are the poor.
"Blessed are the hungry.
"Blessed are those who mourn.
"Blessed are the oppressed. . . . "

Then Simon Peter said, "Do we have to write this down?"
And Andrew said, "Are we supposed to know this?"
And James said, "I don't have papyrus with me."
And Philip said, "Will we have a test on this?"
And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to turn this in?"
And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew said, "Can I be excused?"
And Judas said, "What does this have to do with the real world?"

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and inquired: "Is this lesson aligned with state standards? Does it address multiple intelligences? Where are your objectives in the cognitive domain?"

And Jesus wept.

• Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have been seen grading in church.

• Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

• Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.

• Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

• Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

• Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.

• Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.

• Real teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

• Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.

• Real teachers never teach the conjugations of "lie" and "lay" to eighth graders.

Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

or counting them....
Help that's me!!!!!

Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House. -or which not!

thx klexel!

FACTS: TRUE OR FALSE?

There are ten facts below. Your task is to read them carefully and try and work out which fact is not true. Nine facts are true, only one is false.

1. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

2. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

3. There are more chickens than people in the world.

4. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

5. The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

6. Maine is the only American state whose name is just one syllable.

7. Butterflies taste with their feet.

8. There are only three words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, and stupendous.

9. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

10. The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

Have fun Siebengscheit

(Lösung: Fact 8 is incorrect: "hazardous" = gefährlich, riskant ist ein viertes Wort, dass auf "dous" endet.)

das forum hier ist genauso klasse wie das erste!

Weiter so!!

dies ist eines meiner lieblingsforen!!!

Na dann schreib mal was rein...


@siebengscheit
Nummer 1:Das kann aber nur für die amerikanische Tastatur gelten...


Real teachers (2)

• Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

• Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.

• Real teachers can "sense" gum.

• Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day.

• Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.

• Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.

• Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.

• Real teachers will eat anything that is put in the workroom/teacher's lounge.

• Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school.

• Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely non-expendable.

das LOB für Klexel - für das Erraten des "numberword"

True or false: 1. gilt für die amerikanische Tastatur!!!! Aber ein anderer Punkt ist falsch!

Siebengscheit

auf Nummer 4 oder 5, weil ich die anderen Behauptungen alle schon mal selber gefunden / gelesen habe.

Zu Nummer 10.
Hier ist auch ein hübscher Satz, der alle Buchstaben des Alphabets enhält...

Prodigal lesbians from Venezuela know just exactly how to eat quiche.

it's not 4. or 5.

Try again! Siebengscheit

No idea

Aber rate ich hier alleine?



Excuse Notes DeLuxe (1)


These are actual excuse notes from parents(Including original spelling)
Collected by Nisheeth Parekh University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.